Redemption
by Kunthea
Summary: Severus knew he wasn't a good man. He made more mistakes than he was able to count, and all his decisions ultimately led him to his downfall. He expected nothing more when the time came, yet he was given a second chance. It was time for him to defy fate, and make this life his.
1. Prologue

It was far too late for him to change. Severus knew that his path in life was destined to be in shambles. No matter how hard he tried to succeed, to survive in the life he was thrown in, his destiny was set. Fate had taken control of his life, leaving him no option to rebel against it.

Would things have changed if Severus would have tried harder? If only he cared for others more than himself, would the guilt in his heart go away? Severus would imagine the million different scenarios that would have happened if he tried to fight against fate. Maybe he would have had a better life.

Somewhere along the line, Severus knew he was not truly living. Every move he made, every step he took, they all had to be calculated. His emotions, his words, his entire existence was made to be the shell that he was. Detached, desperate. It was exhausting for him. Each time he saw himself in the mirror, all he could see was a monster. Calling himself a man was far too much of a compliment he didn't deserve.. Severus could only see a regret, a living mistake. If only, he thought, if only he knew.

Now he lives - not as a man, but as a wraith wasting away. A life dedicated to a self-made madman, a life dedicated to living more lives than his one can fit. Pitiful. He had ambition, he had potential for excellence! Yet here he was, disintegrating as no one, like any other person Time sentenced to death. Severus disliked the way his life was going, and disliked it from the very beginning. But each instance Severus had tried to change his path in life, the tunnel kept growing deeper, and the light vanished from his sight. He knew he shouldn't blame it on something so unpredictable as fate, but there was a feeling in his heart that maybe he was destined to live miserably.

I deserve it, he thought.

The estranged man was in his last moments in the land of the living. Poison slowly seeped inside his skin and into his bloodstream. Severus could feel himself slipping away; the experience was entirely uncomfortable. Yet he tried to persevere, it was far too early for his suffering to end, he needed to atone by living. It was, he thought, his destiny. His awareness of the area surrounding him was diminishing the closer he approached to death. Severus remembered yes, he felt the warm hands of a boy. Asking him to awaken, tears in his eyes. When was the last time he felt this kind of care? Long, long ago, he reminisced.

People say that in the last moments before one finally pass, that the person remembers every memory coming back to them at once. Severus expected memories of his younger years where Tobias would abuse his mother and hit and hit and _hit_ her. He expected the times where he was starved from the man he loathed, and the days where he would walk down the empty streets, cold and exhausted - since in his mind he thought that _anywhere_ was better than the filthy excuse of a house. Even the dirty streets of Cokeworth. But to his surprise, Severus met the memories of when he was in school. Experimenting with potions, reading various books by famous wizards, studying to be a wizard and… teaching. He smiled painfully, he was such a sentimental muck. There was a reason he taught at Hogwarts; Severus truly enjoyed handing out knowledge to the younger generation. When he was a young aspiring student, learning was his distraction against everything going wrong in his life. It led him astray, he agreed. But without it, Severus would truly end up being nothing more than dust.

"Professor- come on now, you survived this far and-" Harry said in distress. He was trying to cover Severus's wound, but the man pushed him out the way. There was no time left, the end was near. It was painfully clear. He held onto Harry's hand, giving him the bottle. His life was in the boy's hands.

After a short silence, Severus managed to say few words to Harry.

"...Harry... _live._ " Because Severus knew what Albus had in store for the boy, and he knew that it was so very wrong, too cruel to put a boy to his death like that.

Why Albus, he remembered asking the man. The answer he received enraged him. Albus once was a good man, but now lost to the silly beliefs he held. It reminded Severus of himself when he started to get drawn into Voldemort's clutches. The temptation to let an idea lead you was far too good to not try. He learned his mistake, and is still learning. Albus however, was far too deep to turn back.

The elder wizard clasped his hands, looking all too calm, too peaceful.

"It is simple Severus, he is the chosen one. And to abide by the prophecy- it appears he has to meet unfortunate circumstances," he said (as though he wasn't playing with a boy's life). Severus clenched his fists as anger brewed in him. Nothing pained him more than to treat a life as casually as the old coot had. "It saddens me, but it is fate. You cannot change your destiny, and it is Harry's," Albus said, ending with a smile so fake and aggravating. Fate? Destiny? How absurd. It was excuse after excuse. When was this going to end? This unnecessary battle we were fighting Albus, please. Is the end near? Severus would question, unsure. Time and time again, Albus would smile so fake and aggravating. Like he did at that moment.

It was upsetting Severus, why is that his smile was his last memory before he left the world. Was it because he knew inside, that Albus was misleading him all along and the guilt from it was consuming him. Or is it that knowing the son of a woman whom he used to cherish, will only end up dying in vain for the better - for the good of the wizarding world.

It was far too late for Severus to change his life, and the boy's.

Here he was, dying as a known traitor and nothing more.. And at the same time, trying to hand out advice to a boy whom he once terrorized. To tell the boy to live, despite he himself not following his own words? He was a hypocrite- a selfish man!

Severus's mind was all too full before he realized that his heart stopped, and that his journey to the underworld was commencing. If only he had another chance. A chance to defy fate, to defy destiny and dictate his own life for the better. It was his last wish for himself.

Moments after he told Harry to live, to continue on with his life Severus had slipped from his body. The comforting feeling of death welcomed him. It was cold, barren, empty. He knew nothing was there for him after. His mother was long gone, already in the arms of magic herself. Severus expected to simply disappear. His existence was too vile for magic. Too corrupted, to disgusting for her to accept.

 _Goodbye._

And with acceptance in his soul, Severus made his journey. A journey he thought, that he would never make.


	2. Slow Beginning

For once, Severus had finally felt as though he was at peace. Waves of warmth would wash over his mind, body, and soul. He was here, floating freely with no destination in place. Time did not exist in the space he was in. The idea was comforting, yet dispiriting as well. He was finally able to be rid of the darkness that depraved his all. Shouldn't he be in celebration, in awe?

That was what he led himself to believe. Although in his mind, he was left for the stars, to be forgotten so he would simply disappear. Life, in Severus' case, was not all that simple for that to happen. The sudden feeling of being suffocated inside to out, had enveloped his whole mind. He tried to fight back - gulping down imaginary bubbles of air. A dead person can not breathe, a dead person can not feel like they were dying. Yet he was, and it felt entirely wrong. His whole being was out of place; this was not where he was supposed to be.

He awoke, eyes flying right back open, and welcomed himself back to the drab estate he lived in. A home, he remembered, that was long gone in his future.

Severus inhaled large amounts of air, his chest rising up and down. He choked back a cry desperately wanting to escape his throat.

After all that he suffered, after spending a lifetime stuck in a vicious cycle of fear and hate… he was back. In the dusty home in Spinner's End, young, starved, and alone. Why me, he asked himself, why me? He felt close to breaking down. His heart palpitated unusually fast, and the cold sweat that clinged onto his sickly skin became more prominent the more he sat still. Exhausted eyes teared up, the water threatened to fall as the situation dawned on Severus.

"I'm back." Two words so simple, yet mind shattering.

Thirty-eight years. It was laughable - horribly amusing to himself that he had survived _thirty-eight years_. What contributed to his short life span was the onslaught of horrible, irrational decisions he made when he was a young boy. What could a boy like him do? He was raised abused and neglected, no one to fall back on. It was a series of unfortunate events that piled up upon each other, and in the end it resulted in a man that was far too broken to be ever repaired. His pile of sins kept adding up, soon becoming a filthy mess that would always weigh on his conscious. Severus was destined for failure ever since the beginning.

The estranged boy stepped away from the bed he awoke in. Severus slid the thin blankets from his body, the feel of moist sheets stuck to his skin was never a pleasant feeling. As he got up from the bed, a cool breeze chilled him. It was as though death was caressing his form, telling him he was unnatural; a freak. Was it all an illusion, a terrible dream he found himself in? It felt too real; Severus was adamant on it. There was no reason he would be dreaming about a life he never had. It wasn't like he was in some sort of complete fiction.

Think Severus, think!

He suddenly dashed to the closet hidden in the corner of his room, and tore open the wooden door. In his otherwise immaculate closet, there were clear signs of neglect. The layer of dust that blatantly lied upon the few scraps of clothes he had owned, along with scattered trash that had built up from the previous weeks. Small hands fumbled around, cluttering up the neat pile of papers on the floor before he pulled out a letter.

It was something precious, his Hogwarts acceptance letter.

Severus remembered something terrible happening. It was a vague memory, hidden away in the dark corners of his mind. Furious shouts were aimed at a woman, cowering in fear as she held dearly onto a shivering boy. Horrible curses vomited from the man's mouth as he waved around a weapon of some sorts in his hands. He remembered his gut begging to be emptied, and the beautiful eyes of the woman holding onto him, turning into a vicious red. He was too overwhelmed with the urge to puke up every last drop to even hear the wave of profanities aimed at him, and his mother. Eventually, blood was shed, bodies turned cold, and only the rotten smell of death seeped into the floors. This was a memory he dearly wanted to forget.

Clutching the poor letter to his chest, Severus recalled the unpleasant experience. This was the experience that had caused him to bring the downfall of his friendship with Lily. Potter and his scheming friends had to bully him, they had to make his life at school a living hell- and when his frustrations were at a high…

Severus threw the revolting letter to the floor. There was no use in keeping troublesome mementos when they only bring up distasteful memories. This only proved one point, but made his unstable mind suffer even more. He should be finding out what in the bloody hell was happening!

The Hogwarts letter confirmed that he was indeed, attending the academy. And judging from his relapse (an understatement), Severus suspected that he was entering his sixth year. Which meant that a number of deatheaters had already graduated. Severus didn't know what he should have felt in the moment. A part of him had screamed in relief, saying that he had finally gained another chance to shape and change for a better future; it was risky. Things will not be the same if he obstructs the natural order.

One does not simply mess with time, but to salvage the years he wasted, Severus might be the one man that will.

Severus exited his bedroom, it was no use for him to stay in one place. Time was of the essence now that he knows what will come. He entered the living area, and was welcomed with horrid fumes attacking his nostrils. He involuntarily gagged at the sudden change. As a young lad, he became used to the chemical scent that emitted from the crevices of the floor. But now, he realized how awful it truly was to be drowning in toxic fumes. Severus had learned that the hard way in the future. He collected himself, choking back a few coughs that dearly wanted to escape.

After being momentarily shocked, he took a few steps to his window to see what was outside. His already small eyes had turned into slits as he glanced outside through the small opening between the drapes. The sun shined bright, even while inside the safe comfort of his house; Severus was able to feel the heat of the sun. He pushed the curtain away, allowing himself a better view and to not strain his eyes. Everything was certainly more vibrant he noted. The grey atmosphere he was so used to living with, was gone; Spinner's End never looked better than today. A personal opinion only he can confirm.

Severus walked away, missing a pair of bright green eyes looking his way. Feelings of both longing and regret, laced beneath brilliant shades of intelligence.

He was in a tough situation. When given the chance, almost everyone would choose to go back in the past to change things. With the knowledge of their years summed up, they would fix the wrongs they have done, or even prevent them. Severus had wished it, but didn't expect his wishes to be granted. Especially with how inane it was. Plus, there was a reason no one actively attempted to mess with time. Time turners were accepted, yes. But had consequences that were quite minimal in the whole grand scheme of things. In Severus' case, this was permanent. There was potential to do some serious, major damage. One small change will lead into another, and before anyone realizes, the world will be unlike the one you experienced before; The Butterfly effect.

It was a large weight on his shoulders. And only he can understand it.

Severus slumped into the washed out grey couch. Heavy thoughts made him even more tired than he would be. He glanced over at the wall to look and see if he was able to find out what the date was, and groaned. There was so little time for him to plan out what were to happen. He only had a few weeks to spare before going back to Hogwarts - and it was going to be difficult to do actual work while being watched by the many eyes in his house.

There are things Severus fully acknowledges that he cannot prevent from happening. If he were to mess with those few instances, the reality he lived through will no longer be present, and cease to exist. No matter what, he had to suffer major losses in order for a better future to happen. As long as he lives a better life than before, Severus was determined to change the future by altering the past. It was selfish, yes. But maybe this way, Voldemort would be truly vanquished.

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. " Although dreams do distract and hinder one from living, what was the point in living if there were no dreams behind it? Severus scoffed, and exited the living area to go back to his bedroom - where he would remain for the next few weeks.

Despite having suffered the deeds of his past, one does not simply forget the pain that brings itself along on the journey. After living nearly two decades after his years at Hogwarts, Severus was met with the reality that here he was, back in the forsaken school once more. Along with that, he would have to suffer the horrible pranks the group of imbeciles would eventually play on him. Severus could only sigh at that thought.

His seclusion from the outside world made him briefly forget what he had to deal with at Hogwarts. Severus was all too concentrated on what his future plans were, and how he was going to play the field before realizing that he let schooling slip his mind. He had four decades worth of knowledge on him, yet he had let something this major, slip by him.

It was deplorable.

Severus was disappointed in himself, because before he knew it the term was starting in a couple days, and he had to do some last minute shopping for his supplies. Crowds of forgetful mothers and all too excited teenagers were going to swarm the shops. There was going to be no room for him on the streets as well. Severus did not look forward to going out.

When he finally exited the house, feeling the first bits of sunlight he had in weeks, Severus could feel a pair of eyes watching him. Being constantly watched was not a pleasant experience. No matter where he looked, he could never find them, so he continued about his day.

Thankfully, Severus was knowledgeable on the nooks and crannies of Diagon Alley, and had gotten most of his supplies easily and efficiently.

Before delving into Knockturn Alley for his more _unusual_ interests (that will aid him for his future endeavors,) Severus decided to check in the Bank out of curiosity. He had enough gold in his pockets to spare a luxury or two, but that was only because he was a miser. A bloody good one. Maybe investing a thing or two might make his future plans a lot more easier to handle.

He walked up to the front desk, and asked for a banker.

"I would like to see the Prince vaults," he asked, showing his inheritance ring as a confirmation before the goblin even spoke. Severus valued his time as money, and so did the goblins. There was a reason he disliked them, they were all too similar to himself.

The creature nodded and quickly called up a banker without saying any words to him. There was no need when they both were equally distasteful of one another. When the needed person came through, Severus said a brief farewell that had surprised the goblin.

"May your pockets be lined with gold."

"And your enemies cower before you."

Simple, brief, and most importantly meaningful.

The goblin had led the boy to a small, but organized room. He sat down behind the desk as Severus took his own seat across the man. If everything was all swell, he wouldn't need to be meeting with a banker in a stuffy room like this. There must be a problem with the vault, he suspected. It was obvious.

"Sir Prince, it is to my understanding that you are the only heir yes, and that with the absence of guardians or proxies, all the responsibilities are on your shoulder, you understand?"

Severus nodded.

"Good, good. There seems to be a slight problem that needs to be addressed. And seeing from your documents… you are the sole heir to the vaults. There is no problem with me discussing with you, yes?"

And again, Severus nodded.

The goblin lowered his gaze, scanning the parchment for a brief moment. For being known as a stoic and apathetic creature, he showed a great deal of annoyance on his face. One couldn't fake the amount of displeasure the male had shown. Severus was ready to inquire on the reason he was being particularly silent, but he was disrupted.

"Your appearance to the Wizarding world isn't looked well upon, Severus Snape - Lord Prince. There is a conflict within our system, and a couple days ago it was found that you, dear sir, was the complication that had troubled us." Severus quickly came to a realization: he had been found out. Of course, he did not expect to be outed this quickly. Who would have known his sudden appearance into the past would be found out by documents of all things? It was ludicrous.

"No worries. We goblins have no interest upon wizarding affairs. If we were able to, we would have rather never even breathe the same air as your kind," he said with merely a hint of malice. Severus did not show his unease, and took the goblin's words with a hint of salt. Fickle creatures; he knew the true extent of their powers.

"What is the problem," he said, glancing down at the nametag that sat upon the creature's breast,"Ragnok."

"You have outdated information that needs tending to. Because of the loss of adult heirs to the Prince vault, it appears that you will be the next full owner. It isn't fully reinstated. Thus, I am unable to show the physical vault due to your minor statues. Usually, with the loss of any adult heirs, and if the next heir is underage, the minor will be automatically be emancipated and regarded as a legal adult. But due to outdated information, like I have mentioned before, it hinders the usual process and makes it a lot longer, and more complicated."

In which goblins despise. This was absolutely fantastic; some workers definitely hold some grudge against him now due to the inconvenience he caused them.

"And there are also some few, needed conflicts that need to be tended to."

Severus thanked magic for gracing him with her luck. He had assumed that the problem in the system was due to his sudden appearance to his current state, but he realized that it was such an outlandish idea to even consider. Goblins don't have the means to track a person by magic. The closest thing to that was the quill. He was a fool for thinking otherwise. What slipped Severus mind however, was how thrifty and cunning goblins were. Unfortunately, he would be proven wrong in the future, which had its own repercussions.

"Since my journey here today was for the overall value the Prince vaults contain, and not the exploration to it, I suggest for us to arrange a different date to solve these affairs. It is not that urgent, correct? I assume it is not, so please amuse me with my wishes." Severus knew that with his reasoning, he wouldn't be kept any further in this stuffy office. There was a time and place to sort out the needed problems. The goblins should have sent him letters, mail - anything! They had not, oddly enough. Now was clearly not the time, not when he had to first assess the value he may possess before moving on with the plans he had in mind. It would not be long before his next trip.

This will lower the goblins opinion of him. If he attended to his duties, and did everything in an ordered manner, Severus was sure to have gotten a few favors. But time was ticking, and he needed as much as he can get.

With no other issue pertaining to the wizard, Ragnarok gladly flipped over the parchment to reveal what the boy had in his hold. He was not spending anymore time just for arguments. That was reor more pressing matters.

Severus looked at the numbers, and back at Ragnok. The arithmetic simply did not add up. Now, goblins weren't the kind of creatures that would cheat wizards like him out of their items. They all had that exuberant pride in their credibility. However, he was stumped upon seeing the numbers that had fewer digits than he imagined. It seems that in the heat of the moment; Severus confused the future and the past (yet again.) This will not do. He had a few favors that were owed to Lucious during his time, but he had forgotten how he acquired them in the first place. It was about money.

Unsurprisingly.

There was a faint memory that resided deep within his mind. His mother, no matter how much she neglected him, he clearly remembered her stashing away some coins during the time Tobias and her had still lived. Her wit from the old days never left her. That was the one prideful aspect she had that he always admired growing up.. There was always enough money lying around that enabled him to get the items that were needed for Hogwarts. The tuition was also not a huge concern that he would often hear about.. His mother obviously had something to do with it.

However, the visit had lasted far longer than he anticipated and his mind was getting far too distracted by old memories. There were urgent things he needed to care for, no time in reminiscing. Keeping his thoughts in mind, Severus nodded and stood up.

"I will be leaving," he said promptly before immediately exiting the room. Ragnok looked taken aback, but nonetheless let the boy go. His time will not be spent wasted on chasing estranged wizarding teenagers. Too bad he wasn't able to reveal certain information that might have made Severus quite bothered.

The documents had revealed few secrets under the belt of the wizard.

Having left Gringotts, Severus felt an intimidating force weigh upon his heart. It felt uncomfortable, and made his movements sluggish as though he was stricken with an illness. An abundance of rushed mothers and hyper children would pass by him in a blur as he dragged his legs across the stone ground. Although calculated and cunning - two traits that he prided himself on, Severus was at a loss. There were far more problems to handle than what was expected.

He absently made his way home, too ingrained in his thoughts.

The obvious conflict that would impede his future actions would be Albus the man himself. By this point, he had already shown potential to be something dangerous. Having associated with the Malfoy family, and others in that particular area was a blaring clue. He was automatically categorized with little effort. Which frankly, annoyed him.

And to be back in his sixth year meant that there was not much to do to change his alliance. If anything, not much would be able to change due to his leaning.

It meant that he had to be a lot more careful on the already thin thread he had himself walk upon. A sigh escaped his dry lips. Although he had decades of experience juggling between opposing sides, it didn't make this anymore easier. The problem now was to deal with the consequences of his actions. Meaning no one to rely on, but himself.

Severus opened the door to his house and entered.

(Alone, yearning for warmth he never experienced.)

* * *

AN: Apologies for the short chapter, and slow update. I am not used to writing a series - majority of my work is limited to one shots mainly. However, I hope that you enjoy nonetheless. The beginning is slow, but do not fret. It will quicken in further updates. Thank you for reading!

\- Kunthea


End file.
